“A mathematical formula for happiness: Reality divided by Expectations. There were two ways to be happy: improve your reality or lower your expectations.”
― Jodi Picoult, Nineteen Minutes
Eh terbusy la pulak semenjak dua menjak ni.
Sampai cakap kat husband, “Eh, I cannot do all these alone. I tak larat. I penat.” Just bcos that day I was stuck in a bad traffic, tak makan lunch and then balik rumah tgk pinggan mangkuk penuh kat sink and kat living hall tu berselerak barang budak-budak. Rasa nak nangis.
So today while stuck in a 3 hours meeting… Time tak leh nak focus tu pegila google cleaners/hourly maid that can help us. Sekali jumpa la pulak dan paling best ada cleaner available this weekend. Greaaaaaattt! 😀
I’m going for a trial session dulu this Saturday and see how it goes. Kalau ok, kita subscribe for a month. Their service for a month is RM300, 4 hours per session and they will come 4 times. Kiranya tiap-tiap minggu la dia datang rumah.
Let’s pray this one will work for us. Amin. Else, memang kena cari keja lain yang kat Shah Alam lah. Pronto. Penat weh keja kat KL ni. Keluar tak nampak matahari, anak-anak tido lagi… balik pun tak nampak matahari. Boleh gila aku.
Anyway, I went for another interview last Monday. Not in Shah Alam apparently. I had a very tough exam and HR situ kata once dah lepas exam baru boleh go for interview. I had 2 papers to answer in 2 hours. Susahnya! Ada coding and ada soalan objectives. Tssskk! Habis exam, siap suruh pegi lunch sebab diorg nak kira berapa marks exam to qualify to the interview session. Alhamdulilah, dapat pegi interview tu… but I didn’t do well during the interview. Ah, tak kisahlah. Janji I’ve gained the experience. For now, I’m just keep it open and optimistic. Kalau dah memang rezeki, tak ke mana kan… so, let’s pray & wait.
There’s nothing much to blog when you have almost the same routine every day. Was trying to fix this and that, but it doesn’t work makes things much more demotivated.
I told husband that I need some time off. A breakaway. Dekat pun jadi lahhh. I feel like I need time off to rejuvenate. He suggested Bali, I said… looking at our hectic schedule, I don’t think we can just buy the flight ticket and go. Haha. Kena plan wei, kena plan! So, I told him dalam Msia aje lah dulu. Paling jauh Penang/Langkawi. He kinda ok with Penang. But in my mind actually nak pegi yang dekat-dekat sini je. PD ke, Janda Baik ke… Melaka ke… Penat lah nak pegi jauh-jauh (pulak!). Tengoklah nanti kita dapat pegi mana. I was looking at Avani Sepang yesterday, but it is fully booked for the date that we want to go.
Pffftttt! Mana lagi weh nak pegi?
Washing machine decided to break on us this week, so we had to bawak laundry here and there to get it clean. Alah, taklah here and there sangat cuma I will basically bring the laundry basket full of unwashed clothes into the car before I go to work so that balik ofis terus shoot to self-service laundry. Gituu. Hehe. I’m praying that the technician will send back our machine today dan jangan la charge mahal sangat on the fixes tuu 😉
I’m still looking for any weekend maid or any daily hour helper that can help us clean the house and do some ironing for us. Bukan tak nak buat semua itu, but all of it requires so much time that sometimes, tak terbuat pun. Sigh. If any of you know any contacts, please let me know ya. Thank you so soooo much!
Ok lah nak pegi breakfast ni.
Have a great Friday everyone!
We were about to go to sleep. And that night we were sleeping at Topaz & as usual Alia will always with us when husband is not around.
Me: Ok, adik. Let’s recite du’a and sleep.
Adik: Bismikallah huma ahya waamut
Alia: Good night, adik!
*slient there*. Tapi semek tu belum tido pun. Sibuk nak selimut-selimutkan diri
Alia: Adik, dengar tak Kak Lia cakap apa?
Alia: Kenapa adik tak cakap balik?
Alia & Me: ……………………………………………. *krik krik krik*
Last night, I was folding the clothes in our room and Khadijah was playing in the toys room alone. She was talking non stop to her doll, when suddenly it all went so quiet that I sense something is not right. So, I tried to make her talk from my room;
Me: Adikkk, adik buat apa tu?
Adik: kat bilik la. Main dengan doll ni
Me: Kenapa senyap je ni? Adik tak cakap ke dengan doll tu?
Adik: Adik dah penat. Adik diamlah
Me: ohh ok.
Every night, I will apply EO to the kids. I’m introducing new EO, Valor to Umar last 2 weeks ago.
Umar: Mama, nak bau.. nak bau
I let Umar cium bau Valor. Hidung dia tersumbat so, I doubt that he can smell it.
Umar: mmmm… takde bau ape-ape pun
Adik: nak bau jugak, mama! Nak bau!
So, I let her smell too.
Adik: haaaa… ada bau apa-apa. Ada. Ada
Selfie sekeping sebab pagi tadi office macam kosong, takde orang.
Have a great weekend, peeps!
Yesterday after perform Dhuha prayer, I received a call from Afif. He sound so serious that I was so scared if anything had happen. Rupanya Kak Ilah called him asked him if he is available to send her to the hospital. Kak Ilah collapsed kat office semalam. I immediately called Kak Ilah and asked if she wanted to go to the hospital right now. She said, she will call me again later sebab referral letter tak ready lagi.
Around 11.30 like that, Kak Ilah called saying that the referral letter dah ada and boleh pegi hospital. She was on the wheel chair and looked very pale the moment I arrived at her office. The moment when I saw Kak Ilah on the wheel chair, I remember my very own experience being on the wheel chair. 7 years ago. I don’t know if Chandra still reading this blog. If he does, I’m sure he will still remember too & making fun of it! 😛 Here for full story
Since PCMC just at the end of the road, ke ER sana la kami tuju. It was my very first time driving thru the ER. I grabbed the wheel chair since there’s nobody at the entrance. Right after I had that barulah ada nurses came to help.
They wheeled Kak Ilah into one of the room and started to ask her few questions while I settled her particulars at the registration counter. She then was admitted to the observation room. Kak Ilah asked me to call Abg Tatmi. Again, cerita 7 tahun lepas… how my colleagues struggled to get my husband’s phone number bcos I put his nick name in the phone book. Haha. And it was during lunch time too. Memanglah mengimbau kenangan betul.
So, I talked to Abg Tatmi and promised him to keep him updated if there’s anything. He’s in Kerteh, by the way.
Doctor came not long after that. I had to wait outside as they wanted to examine Kak Ilah. As the clock strike 12 ish, my tummy started growling and my hands are all shaky. Kes breakfast makan biskut je. Hehee. Afraid that I might be the next one collapsed, I rushed to the nearest mini mart to get something lite.
After finish up my chocolate, I managed to grab the doctor that examine Kak Ilah. She gave a signal “wait a minute” to me. So, I waited again while the rest of the family was so anxious and curious to get the updates from me. And I was so lucky on that day, sebab beriya bawak powerbank tapi tak bawak cable to keep my phone alive! Hahahahaa! So, by the time I got a chance to talk to the doctor my phone is nearly dead! New phone, pleaseeee! 😛
Doc said nothing serious. She said it may due to her vertigo attack and Kak Ilah ready to be discharged. She explain some meds that Kak Ilah need to take and then I immediately called Najib to come and pick up Kak Ilah. After changing few text messages with Najib, my phone totally dead. Pffftt! Nasib baik la dah settle segala baru mati.
Settle the bills and took the MC, we went to the pharmacy to get the meds. Sambil tunggu nombor kena panggil, Kak Ilah ajak makan. Lapar agaknya. We had chicken lasagna from the nearby kiosk. No long after that Najib pun sampai & Kak Ilah balik rehat kat rumah. I went back to the office with her car and had the hard time of finding a spot. Mujur jumpa satu lepas round banyak kali kat Soho tu.
So, at night before I went to sleep with the half opened eye… I asked husband, “Do you remember 7 years ago, that lunch hour call?”
He said, “hehehh… How can I ever forget that call. I knew you going to bring up the story”
Speedy recovery, Kak Ilah!
Many has been asking me these questions;
“Bila Khadijah nak jadi kakak?”
“Are you pregnant? Nampak sangat letih je ni..” -____-
“Bila nak tambah ahli keluarga ni?”
And I can’t lie when I secretly flipping through old pictures of Umar & Khadijah when they were newborns… and I admit rindunya bau baby!
Siap mimpi pregnant juger. Haha.
But tell you the truth, I don’t know if I can handle another one at the mo. Having 3 people to look after right now pun mak letttiiihhh.
3, yes 3! My husband is also a baby/toddler/kids! Hahahaaa.
With so many things happen at work, dengan commute KL-SA nya lagi… and with this Zika virus thingy now. I know this is just a lame excuse! Heh 😉
I don’t think this is the right time to have another one. Ok, usually ones end up saying something like this will get pregnant after. Haha. But seriously, I don’t think I’m ready to have a baby right now.
Ni tengah slow-slow finding another job.
Nak cari yang dekat dengan rumah.
Yang ada flexi-hours, yang boleh work from home without any prejudice, yang understand the dilemma & condition of working moms.
Nantilah ye, #3 ni. Boleh?
Reading Hampshire Mummy’s entry make me wanna post this one.
After having a bad traffic & dealing with tough developer today, I need a positive vibe to keep me sane…
So, here you go 3 things that make me happy (in a random order);
#1: That happy smile from Khadijah & Umar when they wake up every morning… want to hug, kiss & salam me before I go to work
#2: The smell of fresh brewing coffee. Definitely, kicking start my day beautifully if I get to smell this.
#3: Wearing new clothes! Hahahahahh. Don’t know about you guys, but seriously, I’m happy when I get to wear baju baru to work. It gives me some motivations to work hard. Hehe.
How about you?
#1: Still about the office. Yes, banyak banyaaaaakkkk cerita. But life goes on. Sometimes, some people come into your life just to teach you to let go.
Let go and move on. InsyaAllah, ada rezeki yang lebih baik untuk masing-masing.
I’m still praying that I’m out from this drama…
#3: Khadijah demam setelah lama tak demam selsema. Start panas on Monday night. Tuesday she still went to school as usual. Balik tu muntah dan demam. Hopefully nothing serious. Yesterday husband dah stay at home to be with her. Today my turn pulak.
#4: Kak Tuty dah pos Valor and I just can’t wait to use it! Will blog about Umar & husband’s progress. Haiiii tak sabarrr!
#5: Banyak juga benda dalam pikiran…
Ahh.. they are forever. No matter how bad it is, how ugly you are… Family is the one that we always run to…
Oklah nak cakap banyak lagi actually… tapi kerja menimbun.
#1: Activewear by Myadinda. Dapat Natasha top pun jadilah
#2: Kenwood Prospero Kitchen Machine
#3: Givenchy Antigona Oxblood
#4: Nak jam pleaseeee! Any jam will do. I lost my watch last year and still tak jumpa the one yang berkenan di hati. Dok teringat kat jam yang dah hilang tu. Sobs.
Ok, tu je setakat ini. Marilah drool benda lain pulak 😛
I cannot sleep lately.
Last Saturday went to sleep around 11ish, terlelap kejap je… Lepas tu terjaga around 1am, almost 5am baru boleh lelap kejap. Dah almost a week kot susah tido ni.
I had similar issue last year. Sampai almost nak amik sleeping pills sebab memang tak cukup rehat and I need my beauty sleep. But I didn’t. Sebab tanya one of my friend (she’s a pharmacist), she said jangan amik sleeping pills, she asked me to try ubat batuk yang drowsy tu. Which I did. Penat weh. Kat office tak boleh nak focus pun sebab mengantuk. That time I think I was so worried about being long distance with the family.
Sekarang ni tak pasti sebab menda yang tak boleh nak tidur ni. Sunday night tu tido pukul 12 lebih, pastu bangun at 5.15am to go to work. Dokleh gini wehhh. Boleh jadi gilaaa. Haha. I need my sleeeeppp! I’m dead tired.
Read somewhere katanya tak cukup tido boleh jadi gemokk. Lemak-lemak memang dah sedia banyak dah. Tak payah nak gemuk lagi dah. Tengah semangat nak exercise and lose weight ni. Don’t kill my motivation. Heh.
Should I take that cough meds again? Dah macam “ketagihan” pulak. Tak boleh tido je makan ubat batuk. Ish. Tak sesuai.
Wanted to try the essential oil tu. Ramai kata Lavender suitable to combat insomnia, not that I’m being diagnosed as insomnia… but, lavender is good for relaxing and getting a better sleeps. Baru je order Valor dengan Kak Tuty. Nantilah kita order Lavender pulak. Ordered Valor for Umar and husband… Actual is untuk Umar saje bcos of his sleep apnea. Lately can see he started to have difficulty in his sleep again. I was so concern and worried. Googling around and I found Valor. And as husband tu sebab snore. Hehe. Really hope that Valor will help them in getting a better sleep, insyaAllah.
Actually, I’ve been applying essential oil to the kids since last year. I bought Thieves last year sebab tak tahan dengar husband cerita pasal anak-anak sakit. Dah la mak ni jauh di mata… Tak dapat tolong jaga anak, kita tolong cara lain. Hehe. Memang nampak la perubahan. Dari selalu selsema, batuk-batuk… now dah jarang.
Ok, I really need to get some sleep now. Oh, sebab mc harini… kita rehat la sikit.
I’m going to brag about work today. Not in a so good mood at work. But inilah tempat mencari rezeki, like it or not I have to face it, kan?
I just got to know yang my colleague pun dulu x-Intelliers. Haa apa lagi sembang habis la pasal tempat kerja lama. Memang rindu sangat.
It is sooooooooooooooo different when you are in an organization yang ada properly documented and people adhere by the processes. Tak kirala process apa pun deployment process ke, on raising your extra requirement ka… anything. Macam kat sini, everything is in their brain. Not much being documented and followed. Pening tak? Pening ok. Masa mula-mula masuk memang blur gila. I dont know what to do, I dont know where to start.
I wonder how they all ni survive? Bila dah almost a year here, ahh… barulah faham. Follow with the flow ajelah ye. Bila user request anything extra or any requirement missing, regardless which stage you are right now… just say, yes. Bcos user being treated like a God here. Haha. I’m exaggerating here. Tapi begitulah caranya.
Previous employment, we can challenge our user… There’s nothing wrong at all. People won’t question you if you said something like, “Ok. We’ll take this offline and we’ll think about it before we started to implement it” to the user. Kalau sini cakap macam tu mau kena berbakul-bakul dengan PM. Heh.
Another thing yang I find it so difficult to accept is, takde dedicated place for you to do your work. I think our department je kot macam ni. Sebab department ni paling banyak contractors, so they don’t bother about allocating enough seat for their
employee contractors. For me, workstation is very important bcos that is the place where you going to spend most of your time. I had ergo issue last week. My right hand was very uncomfortable.
Bila ingat-ingat balik, dulu penah jadi camni, and we call the ergo officer datang accessed my workstation. Semua kena adjustlah. That person even suggest to use mouse dengan tangan kiri kejap. Tapi susahnya. Hehe. Kat office sini takdela pulak kan nak ber”ergo” assessment bagai. Some of them don’t even know what is ergonomic. Ppfftttt.
So, I decided to change my place. I had to find a place so that I can seat and setup my machine properly. Walau takde docking station or laptop stand or even a foot rest, at least I can have a proper place now. Yang sebelum ni punya tempat… nak cerita pun segan. Let’s just say macam squatting kat tempat orang. Gitttuuu. Hehe. I hope no one else will claim this table anytime soon. Eventho sejuk macam peti sejuk,
I suka duduk kat sini dah takde tempat lain dah nak di tuju. Hehe.
Oklah enough of the ramblings. Hari ni hari Jumaat kan… Esok dah weekend. Wheeee!
We went for a Khalifah Parenting Course (KPC) sometimes ago. Macam compulsory la kena attend, sebab dah termasuk dalam fees anak-anak. Since slot kat Shah Alam tu, was done on Saturday and that particular Saturday pulak takde plan apa… kiteorang pun pegilah.
KPC ni mainly macam nak explain kat parents how the school runs. Macam mana diorang didik anak-anak suruh jadi khalifah yang baik, belajar, solat, etc… So, they encourage us — the parents to do the same too at home.
The other day, while trying to convince Khadijah to do something… I can’t recall what it was, tapi nak memujuk semek ni bukannya senang. Usually part pujuk ni I’ll leave it to her dad. So, he started the “negotiation” with her… Cakap macam tu, jawab macam ni… cakap macam ni… dia jawab pulak yang lain. This little girl surely has something to say
Then, husbie said to her, “OK lah dik… Adik nak jadi ahli syurga tak? Ahli syurga dia tolong mak ayah, dengar cakap mak ayah, baik dengan semua orang. Bila baik Nabi suka, Allah sayang. “
Khadijah continued, “haaa… dalam syurga ada macam-macam kan, ayah? Kalau masuk syurga besssttttt!”
Hubsie replied, “So, adik kena dengar cakap siapa ni? Cakap ayah ke cakap shaitan?”
Khadijah said, “Oklah… cakap ayah lah. Shaitan tu jahaaattt… Hmmm”
So, yeah… things are bit easy when we “nego” like that with her.
Like last night, while I was trying to change Khadijah’s clothes… she refused to. She already asleep when I put her on her bed. Since dia tak tukar baju, (dan tak mandi pun actually! Haha. Well, that’s another story to tell) and being me yang sakit mata tengok dia pakai baju since afternoon… Nak tukar lah. So, dia nangis-nangis cakap tak nak. I keep on saying to her that she can just continue to sleep, I’ll be the one that change her clothes… tetaplah tak nak jugak. You know what I said lepas tu?
“Adik, busuk-busuk ni kan malaikat pun tak nak datang dekat adik tau”
She then immediately, said ok with both eyes shut. Hahaa.
Umar? Oh well, maybe he’s a boy… most of the time bila orang cakap kat dia something like, “Haaa… jangan gaduh dengan adik. Tak baik. Allah tak suka. Ahli syurga mana ada gaduh-gaduh ni.” He’ll smiled away and said, “Ok ok, sorry sorry.”
I think boys ni tak tunjuk sangat what are they capable of or what they know until we asked them. Macam malulah nak show off, gituu… Boys are always cool like that, kan?
But I think he’s a bit confused when it comes about malaikat. Bila cakap pasal malaikat, he keep on saying malaikat jahat/tak baik. I think he is confused with malaikat Raqib & Atid. Well, we’ll surely need to tell him more stories about malaikat then.
Dalam banyak-banyak hari, pagi ni lah rasa macam nak lari dari reality. Entahlah tak reti nak cakap cemana… Tapi ada rasa macam nak lempang, toreh diri sendiri.
Pagi ni, setelah beberapa hari tak car pool dengan Kak Ilah, I decided to car pool with her. Dah siap-siap text her last night. Bangun for sahur pun dah awal. So, oklah I may make it on time to her place. Tup tup semek la pulak meraung menjerit menangis sebab dia nak sambung tido tanak bangun. Nak itu nak ini, yang mama ni nak kejar keluar rumah before 6.20am as Kak Ilah leave her house to go to the office at 6.30am. Sudahnya, I didn’t make it to leave the house at 6.20am, I left her screaming on top of her lung, I made everyone in the house bangun with not so good vibe.
So, I had to drive to work today and sebab nak jimat… lalu lah federal hiway yang memang terkenal dengan traffic congested tu. Bila duduk lama dalam kereta sorang-sorang of course lah kan teringat-ingat drama pagi Khadijah tu.
Bad mom, I am.
I know I haven’t been a good person for the past few weeks. Ada sajalah benda yang tak kena. Silap sikit je, terus meletus. Be it with mak, husband or even to Umar and Khadijah. Kadang-kadang, I told myself to just quiet. Bila senyap, tak membebel… tak bising, rasanya “the damage” tak teruk sangat. Tapi, bila kita diam… orang ingat kita sombong, tanak cakap. Orang ingat kita kera sumbang tak mau campur dengan orang. Eh, payah jugak bila try nak jadi baik ni kan?
Really I just wish to take a day off today and go somewhere. Pfftt
Kadang-kadang bila kita buat kerja keras, stayed up till late kat office or even sambung buat keja at home till late night… all we need is just some appreciation from the boss or management. Tak payah bawak pegi posh restaurant sangat pun, cukup ucap “You’ve done a great job!”
Itu je pun dah berbunga-bunga dah. Dah boost up the motivation dah. Serious.
Banyak sangat pengalaman kat previous co. ajar. We’ve been recognized all the time. Ikutlah verbally je ke atau bagi some token. Selalunya KFC/Pizza hut punya voucher lah. Hehe. Sebenarnya tak kesah pun kalau tak dapat any token. Yang penting ada people from management recognize us.
Masa mula-mula join Intel dulu, recognition starts from a simple wishes. Superior akan send like a recognition “certificate” and we’ll print it. Konon nak tayang kat cub. Hehe. Penuh satu cub dengan recognition cert tu.
Time flies and Intel had this cost cutting thingy, so tak boleh nak print print sangat. So they invented a system where you can just recognize anyone. Kalau nak bagi some token, kena dapat approval la dulu… just to make sure it is a real recognition. Karang sesama kawan-kawan pun asik nak recognize, bankrupt lah company kann. Hehe.
Usually kalau recognition tu valid, memang manager akan approves.
You know the feeling when you write your recognition notes to other people. Tulis how his/her work impacts the business, their attitude, semua yang baik-baik je… somehow creates a positive vibes. Bukan recipient je happy, yang tukang bagi pun happy. Isn’t it such a great place to work? Betul tak?
Tapi tulah such scenario tak nampak kat sini. Berat betul mulut nak cakap, “Good job, guys!”, “You’ve made us proud!”, “Thank you so much on your effort”.
Thank you tu pun susah sangat nak dengar T___________T
Selalu peringat diri sendiri agar jangan terlupa recognize, at least say Thank You. Kadang-kadang diri sendiri pun terlupa.
I hope you, yes you that reads this entry can start spreading the positive vibe today. Go recognize or say something nice to others.
Have a great loooonnnnnggg weekend, guys.
Gong Xi Fa Cai to all my chinese friends!