Breaking the habits

Sometimes bagus juga buat benda luar dari kebiasaan.

Macam tiba-tiba satu hari pegi kerja lalu jalan lain.
Tapi sangat stress bila lalu jalan lain tu, tiba-tiba stuck dalam traffic yang boleh tahan lama. Hehe.

Or like tonight. I’m usually dah lama tidur dah at this odd hours.
It is already past midnight, and I’m still wide awake. Well, thanks to painful headache I had masa on the way back home from the office.

So, I slept after perform maghrib and woke up around 9.30pm to chase the kids go to bed. Settling 2 bakul of kains while watching movie, kemas dapur and munch over Khadijah’s bekal — she refused to bawak her bekal bcos it turn out doesn’t the way she imagine it was. Pfftt. Mak kecewa. Tapi tak apalah nakk… Mak makan dah ni 😉

Ok, time is up. My washing machine dah bunyi.
I should go and sidai baju and hit the sack. Else tomorrow tak bangun pulak.

Goodnight, world.

Hi February!

Macam ni rupanya hidup sebagai seorang emak kepada seorang anak yang bersekolah rendah dan tadika. Jangankan nak ada masa untuk update blog, nak twit pun tak sempat dah lani. Heheh.

Konon kan… cita-cita nak update blog ni setiap minggu. Heh. Tinggal lah harapan. Mungkin boleh buat sebulan 1 entry. Sempat lag ni… sebab bulan lepas dah siap 1. So, bulan ni kalau yang ini berjaya publish, kiranya cukup dah kuota 😉

Macam-macam ragam dan perangai budak darjah satu tu.

On his first week of school, he lost his sharpener, ruler (but then he got back that orange ruler) and some of his pencil colors dah kontot. Haha. Not that I care that much pun… cumanya kelakar lah. Hari kedua color pencil yang merah dah kontot kurang sejengkal dah. Mesti kes each time dia sharp the color asik patah. And also, he peed kat toilet successfully on the 2nd day of school! Yay! Haha. Benda yang paling mama dia risau. Siap pesan kat ayah suruh ajar. Belum sempat pun nak ajar… dah pass dah. :)
Hook seluar dia tercabut masa dia kat toilet, to my surprise he kept the hook inside his pocket and gave it to me and said, “Mama… benda ni tercabut kat sekolah tadi. Sebab tu saya tak boleh nak pakai seluar elok-elok. Nanti mama jahit ok?”
Alahai, terharunya.

His 2nd week, we found out that someone took out his emergency money and left nothing behind, his tag kat bag pun koyak but he still kept the card that has his details. Nurses from Klinik Kesihatan came, so Umar had his jab for BCG.

His school organizing sukaneka for pre-schoolers and Year 1 students. So, 3rd week of school is all about training for sukaneka. Dapatlah another new set of stationary sebab ada menang acara sukaneka. Good job, Umar! 😀

4th week, muka cebek-cebek ada lagi sebab Tok hantar sampai kat tempat perhimpunan dan bila Tok hilang tak bagitau pegi mana (Tok dia pegi kedai buku kejap je pun. Haish.), muka merah tahan nangis.
You’re so lucky, Umar to have both grand-parent sending you to school.
And finally he got his timetable and text books too. Punyalah banyak buku… kesian anak mama bawak buku banyak sampai tak larat nak bangun.

Adik pula lain cerita. She’s no longer having her favourite friends in the same class. Ecah dah pindah school lain. While Ina and Nana not in the same class with her. She seems not so happy. Not sure why. But, we’ll see how things going on. If there’s nothing change, maybe kena cakap dengan teacher dia. And her school pun asik bertukar-tukar teacher je… banyak teacher baru, so I don’t know how far she can get along with the new teachers too.

Adik lost so much weight lepas demam, diarrhea dan muntah-muntah last month. Kesian dia, but I can’t help it bila dia mengada macam diva. Hishh. Geram rasa nak gigit! Haha.

Well, it’s getting late. Esok Umar punya first day to sekolah agama.
Terlambat sikit masuk sekolah agama. I just hope he didn’t missed so much of the lesson.

Ada banyak lagi benda nak kena siapkan prior to tomorrow. I better hit the sack now.

Till the next entry. Bye.

 

Pre-2017

Been meaning to update the blog even before the year changed.

I was down with dengue fever 2 weeks before the year ends. It started with high fever, and then dia start sakit-sakit badan. 3rd day of high fever buat blood test and positive dengue. Mujurla boleh duduk rumah aje. Tapi hari-harilah kena pegi clinic ambil darah dan minum air non stop nya! Haha. Kembung perut minum air.

Dah la first day tahu kena denggi tu, doctor pesan no PCM/panadol ok. Air manis-manis like 100plus pun tak boleh. Me and my nephew angguk-angguk ajelah. Malam tu bila temperature naik, memang takde lah nak makan ubat apa sebab doc pesan gitu. Esoknya pegi clinic, tanya doc (lain) pasal makan PCM… dia gelak sakan. So, I assume doc yang semalam tu tersilap. Instead of pesan tak boleh makan painkillers or any steroid meds, dia pegi pesan no PCM/panadol. Nasib lah kau, Aida.

I was on medical leaves for 6 days and when I’m back to work it was the final working week of 2016. Poor kiddos sebab tak pegi mana-mana pun time cuti Xmas. We were supposed to go back KT that week. Tapi sebab mama tak sihat, makanya duduk saja la di rumah ye anak-anak.

And I also missed the meet-up session with Shan! Sobs. She came back for winter break and we’ve been planning for this meet-up since Oct, mind you! Tup tup tak sihat pulak nak jumpa dia. And I still haven’t pick up my stuffs from Lu Yee – since I couldn’t meet her on that day, she passed all stuffs that I brought online to Lu Yee, hehe.

Nieces from JB came for few days. Diorg ikut mak datang when we told mak about bapak not well too. Masa demam panas tu actually bapak dah demam panas dulu. But he refused to go clinic. Just makan some PCM and then dia nak rehat je. Looking at him so tak larat, bagitahu la jugak kat mak that he’s not well. Mak masa tu kat JB. Temankan kakak. Asal mak pegi JB je ramai sakit. Hehe.

Mujur jugak ada orang datang rumah… Seronok Khadijah ada kakaks melayan dia. Cuma tak larat bila part gaduh ler. Perempuan kan bising kecoh time gaduh. Hehe.

Once recovered, busy pulak settlekan hal Umar Syarif nak masuk sekolah. Hai anak bujang mama dah darjah 1 dah dia. Cerita dia pegi primary school should be in the separate entry. I hope I can remember each of everything. Konon nak tulis dalam buku, sudahnya buku pun entah ke mana dah on his first day school tu.

I hope it is not too late to wish everyone a very Happy New Year!
May Allah ease our journey to improves ourselves to become a better person towards jannah. Amin.

of the long weekend

Both kids are unwell.
Umar and Khadijah are down with fever since Sunday. Umar picked up flu bug and cough on Monday.
Husband was so kind to take care of them today. So, here I am… in the office, without my partner-in-crime bcos she pulak on leave today. Sobs

We went to Kuantan on Saturday morning.
Our tyre punctured 3/4 way to Kuantan. Husband stopped by at RnR to get it changed to a spare tyre. Took him 15mins to change it and tak sampai 15mins on the road it was bumper to bumper crawl sebab ada boat terbalik on the road.
Lepas je incident area, we saw a family tahan-tahan kereta sebab tyre kereta diorg pecah and the tools yang diorg pakai tak boleh nak unscrew the tyre.
So, husband stopped to help. Nasib baik la boleh bukak… but too bad, bila siap pasang the spare tyre tu, longgar pulak. Kesian.

We finally reached Umi Adik’s place around 12.30pm.
Seronok semek tu dapat jumpa baby Media Aisy. Dalam kereta bapa banyak kali ntah dia dok bising “Cute baby! Cute baby!”
Yes,finally dapat jumpa the limited edition baby. Hehe.
Family belah husband named baby girl as limited edition baby as there will be only 1 baby girl in each of the family (so far). Hehe.
MIL ada 28 (or is it 29?) org cucu, only 6 girls including this latest addition.
Limited kan? Very.

Sunday morning pegi Pantai Batu Hitam.
Punyalah seronok dapat pegi pantai, balik tu terus dua-dua demam (sampailah harini!).

Umar bila temp dia tinggi je… rasa tak sedap badan and sakit kepala he’ll said,
“Mama, ambilkan saya panadol. Sakit kepala ni.”
Haha. Padahal, tak reti telan pun pill tu. Just that he always seen us kalau sakit kepala je mesti bising cari panadol. Hehe.
Umar ni kalau sakit, paling senang to handle. He won’t fuss. Diam je. Unless kalau memang sakit sangat. Other than that, he’ll act like nothing happen. In fact, dia akan lagi banyak cakap time sakit ni.
Sebelum tido, ada je benda dia nak cakap padahal mata dah merah-merah.

Went home from Kuantan after asar on Sunday as hubsie ada sambutan maulid nabi kat office. Ingatkan boleh la stay lama sikit kat Kuantan since cuti sampai Selasa… tidak ye. Tidak. Selalu sangat trip ke Kuantan ni cut short. Tak sempat tau nak pegi Kula Cake! Sobs.

On Monday, hujan renyai and I asked husband if the sambutan still on. Haha. Punyalah tak bagi dia pegi kan.
I spent the rest of the day doing nothing much. Jadi bibik kemas dapo, cuci bathrooms and doing laundry. After asar husband ajak keluar dating. Kita pun yay kan aje lah sebab dah lama sangat tak dating!

Tuesday pun tak buat apa-apa sangat jaga budak sakit dan sambung kemas rumah – decluttering kids punya baju-baju. Banyak sangat yang dah kecik-kecik tapi elok lagi.
Dah petang sangat barulah ajak kanak-kanak sakit tu keluar kejap pegi jumpa cousins diorang (rumah Umi Chu). Umar punya meraung nak sleepover rumah Umi Chu. Kesian dia! “Dah sihat nanti tido sini ok, Umar,” said Umi Chu.

Well, that’s pretty much sums up the long weekend that I had.
Takde lah happening sangat nya.
Gambar pun sendu je… rajin nanti kita share sini.

Till then. Bye!

school oh school

Umar will be 7 y.o next year.
We registered him to the public school and he took the diagnostic test last Monday. Nampak macam ok, his cousins sekolah situ juga and they all ok je semua. Faris got straight As for UPSR, masa pegi briefing last Monday cikgu-cikgu depa pun bukan calang-calang. So I guess should be good la kan.

My only problem is sekolah agama (kafa).
Since si ayah been procrastinating pasal register Umar untuk sekolah agama… There’s no more slot available dah until March. Cikgu sekolah agama tu kata, usually by March baru tau siapa yang betul-betul daftar situ. So, masa tu baru ada kosong. Marchh??!! Lama weii. Karang Umar dah biasa bangkit lambat (he’ll be in afternoon session, by the way) for 3 months… do you think he would want to go to sekolah agama by then? Lagipun nak tinggal dia dengan siapa? Yeah, my parents are around… but they won’t say no kalau Umar dok layan tv/computer/phone dari pagi sampai waktu pegi sekolah.

Haih.

My another problem is… our current education system ni… macam kelam-kabut je. Kejap macam tu, kejap macam ni. Risau la pulak. Dengan soalan-soalan KBAT nya lagi… Takot maknya yang tension nanti…. Anak relax aje.

Sigh.

So, I started google-ing around for any school for Umar.

ISSA – registration dah tutup ok. Diorg start enrollment since June/July lagi oii. Pfftt
IDRISI – tengok fees dia berjuling mata! Haha.
Brainy Bunch – location tak strategic. It is at One City sana. And I got to know in June next year nak pindah Cyberjaya sana. Memang taklah kan…
Greenview – I don’t know… fees dia tu boleh tahan.
Nuh’Ark – tunggu respond diorg pasal fee structure.

I don’t know mana tah lagi nak tengok ni.

Ke memang macam ni perasaan mak-mak yang anak dia baru nak naik darjah satu?

 

Managing the expectation

 

When you expect too much from others, expect to be disappointed so rather than laying blame learn to manage our expectation
~Mufti Ismail Menk~

How well you manage your own expectation?

How do you know when to manage it?

I have to admit that I’m not good at managing it. I can go berserk if any of my expectation doesn’t go as I imagine it would be.

Depressing just bcos, things doesn’t go as I plan. Betul. Amukan lah.

Tapi sekarang ada lah sikit kemajuan. Tak seteruk dulu, tapi harus dipertingkatkan lagi usaha menuju ke arah lesser expectation from others ni.

I can go on and on and on and on if things didn’t go as I want it to be.
Something that I’m not proud of pun. Sigh.
Stress betul.

Bila dah bertenang sikit, bila dah ada kewarasan sikit barula fikir. Sebenarnya masalah tu kecik je.

Alah, setakat tak letak softener bila rendam towels… chill lah, mama! Towels still bau wangi sebab bila rinse letak softener kan… 

Tinggal katil tak kemas bersepah-sepah… Alaaa, takpelah mama. Bukannya selalu pun kiteorg kemas katil 😛 Jangan masuk bilik kiteorang k! 😉

Pinggan mangkuk dalam sink… Mama niiii, cerewet sangatlah. Tak berkulat pun pinggan tu kalau duduk dalam sink satu malam 😉 Relax k, mama!

It is just the matter how you manage your expectation kan.
Kalau expect everything to be in place, memang susah lah.
You jugak nanti yang stress out.
You jugak nanti tak enjoy your life, sebab busy fikir/imagine itu dan ini.
Just sit back and relax je lah.

But then it is a real struggle to manage your own expectation ni.

Just like when you expect your weight to be significantly reduce bila dah seminggu tak makan nasi, berdiet bagai, workout and what not, but the real truth is not!

So, how well did you manage your expectation?

Have a great weekend everyone 😀

 

 

She says

Khadijah will always has something to say. Tak kira lah apa saja. Mesti. Ada je benda dia nak komen, nak tokok tambah. Tapi kalau kena kat batang hidung sendiri, diam membisu. Haha.

Yesterday lepas maghrib, Khadijah dah siap mandi semua… She went down to find her hair brush. Dah tatau berapa kali lah sikat dia tu kena ganti sebab went missing. Dah la rambut tu mmg sentiasa kena sikat, kalau tak kusut masai je :'(

Lepas dah jumpa sikat, she went up to our room to get us to comb her hair. She immediately entered the room without knocking on the door neither bagi salam. Ayah dia tegur, “adik, ayah pesan kalau nak masuk bilik ayah dengan mama… adik kena buat apa?”

“Hmmm… bagi salam”, she said.

“Ok, pegi keluar balik”, ayah replied.

She went out and close the door behind her.

“Assalamualaikummmmmmmm”, she said.

“Waalaikumussalam… Masuklah”, ayah replied.

The moment she opened the door she said, “Alhamdulillahhhh… dah takde syaitaaannnn!!!”

Mama duduk kat tepi tu tergelak habiss!

😀

Ya Allaahhh, ada-ada je awak ni dikkk!

Yelah mama fahamlah, bila kita bagi salam syaitan kan lari 😉

 

 

ai-see-ti-to-you

August is almost ends. And we’ve been busy. At least I’ve been busy on my birthday month. Before everything else, I think should make it official here that next year… I’m going to tell my boss and PM that I will take a day off on my birthday. Just bcos it has been two years in a row I had a go-live date the same date as my birthday. Well, at least this year a day after my birthday… but still, I have to work on my birthday, you know. Not fun at all 😛

I’ve been meaning to post something here. And I’ve been meaning to update my IGs – yes, both accounts! Tapi tulah, masa begitu berharga!

Even my son was complaining and I felt like I’m a horrible mom.

He told me, “mama, mama pegi kerja awal-awal pagi. Buat kerja cepat-cepat. Jangan la balik malam. Asik balik malam je mama ni” I’m sorry, son :(

And to make it more dramatic. I forgot about my daughter & my sister birthday. Not forgot actually. I do remember. I bought my sister’s present a day before the date. But on the actual day, I got busy and lost track of time. And there, I just forgot. Sighh.

That morning, Mak gave me some money to buy birthday cake. Khadijah and my sister sharing the same birth date. So, Mak been repeating again and again saying that I must buy the cake. So, yes. Cake, ma’am. I got it. Then, when I was in the train I was thinking why Mak been repeating again and again. I know, bcos it is my daughter’s birthday too. Jangan risau pls. Oh, wait. I think what she was trying to say is, “TODAY TAK BOLEH BALIK LAMBAT, OK?” Ok, mak got it! :)

So, yes. I’ve been telling my colleague the same too.

“Korang, I have to go back early today tau. It’s my daughter’s birthday and my mom told me to buy the cake.”

Since I’m car-less that week, so I’ve been taking train. It is just so convenient now sebab boleh naik kat SJ and straight to KLCC. Best!
And at first, I was thinking to buy the cake and present to Khadijah during lunchtime. Since Pavilion takde Toys’R Us, maka nya KLCC aja lah tempat di tuju. Then again, buat apa nak ke KLCC 7/8 kali kalau boleh pegi beli masa balik nanti. Just make sure you go back on time la kan.

So, then again… I’ve been telling my colleague, “korang please ingatkan I pasal cake ok. I need to go back early today”. So, yes all of my girls were aware.

Clock strike at 3.30pm, I had a meeting with the users until 5pm. In between, I still do some other stuffs like reporting and closing some incidents. Aku nak balik on time weh harini!

It was 5.01pm and my sweet little Angeline who sat right next time ping me and said “cake cake cake”. I just flip her conversation to something else.

I had some conversation with others via skype too, and another colleague sent “cake with the cake icon”. And I was so blurr and thinking, diorang ni stress sangat ka apa… nak makan cake kaa?? And that was around 5.15pm I think.

Clock past 5.30pm and Angeline sent another message via lync and said “cake” and that time I was still in the conference meeting with the users. I straight muted my mic and asked her, “Angel, korang lapaq cake ka… Shekha also been saying the same”.

Angeliene held my hand and said, “Aida you tak ingat ke you kena pegi beli cake for your daughter?”

“OOOMMMMMMGGGGGG!!! WHAT TIME IS IT NOWWW???!!!”

I un-muted the mic and said, “guys, sorry I really really had to go” hung up and packed my stuff and off.

On my way to KLCC, I phoned my husband and I cried. I don’t know why I cried. But really, I felt like I’m the worst mom ever. How can you forgot that??!!

I’m so lucky that Kak Ilah willingly to wait for me while I scouted birthday present for Khadijah and hunt down cake for two of them in less than 30 minutes. Phewww. Mom gotta do what she gotta do.

But really, it has been a tough month for me and for us. Alhamdulillah, my family is around to help out. I cannot imagine if we were just by ourselves.

Bit update about my work, that “project wahyu” gone live on 15th Aug after twice of postponement (adakah perkataan ini?!). There were so much of efforts that we all put and it was really something when we manage to get it done. Kudos to all. It has been hell of an experience. Hehe.

Tired

I’m so exhausted, tired and and andd sighhh.

The point is, penat. Sangat.
I had UAT this week and I never imagine that it was so tiring until I just couldn’t even think what the other end was trying to say to me on the 3rd day of UAT. My mind was working, but couldn’t compute what to say or reply to others.

Even right now at the moment, my body is screaming for a rest but my mind refused to. So here I am, typing this entry. I was so tired that I wanted to rest, maybe get some sleep and wake up fresher. But I just couldn’t. Watched my fav series, Numbers — dah la penat seharian kat ofis, balik pegi tengok pulak cerita “berat” camni. Oi, penat fikir siapa bunuh Dr Hoke tu. Haha.

It has been long weeks for us — my colleagues. We’ve been working like hell days and nights… weekdays and weekends too. I just hope all of these sacrifices will paid off. At this point of time, I guess everyone just praying to get the system up and running je. Nak jadi apa lepas go-live tu, jadilah. Dah penat, sangat.

And seriously, I couldn’t think of any word than penat.
Penat.
Penat.
Penat.

I just want to sit back and relax, ohh you wish Aida!

Eid 2016

IMG_9853

Salam Aidilfitri. Mohon maaf zahir batin.

There are so manyyyy pictures and stories to tell. I just don’t know which one to start. Alhamdulilah, I had a very wonderful eid this year. Get together with the family is something that we don’t get to do often so, when we do… it is the only time that we have to talk and talk and talk.

Pictures are up on instagram and facebook. Nanti-nantilah kita share kat sini juge. With that, selamat berhari raya, peeps! :)

Next week dah raya tau

Yes, next week dah raya!

Tapi macam tak de mood nak beraya pun kat office ni tau. We had this super duper ambitious user yang mintak kiteorg siapkan this one procurement project within 3 months time frame which covers from order to fulfilment till billing. Basically, one complete cycle of ordering items or services la ni. Pffttt!

I dont know if I can raya dengan aman or not. But I told my team mate, kat kampung memang takde internet connection tau. Thanks, MIL for not installing any! Haha!

Deadline is on Aug 1. And today, right now at this very moment we still trying to tie few gaps that we found. Yang belum found jangan tanya, yang jumpa ni pun tak finalize lagi… Can you imagine how messy this project is?

Current process is so manual and tedious, lepas tu ada banyak scenarios yang kiteorang patut cover in order to make it work. Well, I’m only talking about one or two products here, imagine over hundreds products… boleh pingsan tau. And all of these, business owner tak tau pun yang nanti nak automate semua benda ni. Haaa cemana tu? This is like cowboy punya project la, come in make some change and ask people to accept your solution but you don’t know if your solution able to help them or not and worst is, you don’t even know the details of their day-in-day-out task. Sighhhh.

I know shouldn’t complain… but but but dah tak mampu dah ni weh. Boleh sakit otak. Everytime meeting surely there will be some change. I just don’t know how to face my development team — asking them to change again and again.

Sighh.

Ok, lets pasang lagu raya while working and hoping my mojo will be back. But I doubt it will. Lagi tak tenang nak kerja adalah. Haha! Mood raya sudah mariiiii gituu!

With that, selamat balik kampung semua… I know ramai dah balik this weekend kan? So, berhati-hati di jalanraya. Till next raya entry from me, take care all!

 

10th Ramadan

Puasa ni the only thing that is so so sooooooooooooooo challenging adalah mengantukkkkk! Like, Ya Allaaaaahhhhhhhhh… help me while I’m driving to work and go back home. Mengantuk dia tu boleh terpejam mata like 1 second tau and while driving ni mana boleh terpejam mata pun kann. Bahaya!  Ish.

This morning, I think I drove like orang gila. I barely can open my eyes. Dah nak dekat sampai Times Square dah barula terbeliak biji mata sebab almost nak bumped into the front car. Astaghfirullah. Ish ish ish.

Alhamdulilah, Umar still puasa penuh up till now.
I still couldn’t believe that he actually made it. Yelah, tengokla dia yang sekerempeng tu. Anytime je cam boleh lapar kan. Tapi dia ok je so far. By the 3rd day dah ok dah. 2nd day puasa tu ada la menangis meraung raung sebab ada cousin dia makan yogurt in front of him. Kesian pulak. Tapi dah nak berbuka dah masa tu. Pujuk-pujuk, ajak pegi mandi, ayah dia bawak pegi kedai and he pau-ed his dad pepsi and some ice cream. Haha.

We also told him to solat. He said he got sticker from teacher at school sebab perform solat dengan baik. Well, Khadijah selalu report kat kiteorang yang Umar selalu main-main masa solat kat school. So, I think start puasa haritu he improved, Alhamdulilah. I hope lepas puasa pun he will keep continue this, insyaAllah.

Anyway, konon bulan puasa tanak makan nasi. It started off quite well, mampu bertahan for few days without nasi, but then ada sekali last week mak cooked something which I totally cannot resist. Haha. Lepas tu yesterday mak masak nasi lomak sambal udang. Ke laut dalam la diet! Hehe.

Sebelum tu dah naik penimbang, dengan harapan ada lah penurunan berat badan. Yilek! Aaaa frust nya! Rasa macam takmo diet je. Tapi stress sebab banyak baju dah ketat! >__<

But then I noticed that I manage to control keinginan membeli beli juadah bukak puasa. Heh. Usually, kalau pegi bazar mesti banyak nya di beli. Ada jelah alasannya nak beli. But then, masalah pulak la dengan laki ku ni. Dia pulak la yang rajin nak beli-beli. Banyak pulak tu. Our fridge dah penuh dengan leftovers je. Semalam je berjaya stopped him from buying at bazar. Kalau tak tu, ada je excuse dia nak membeli.

How’s your Ramadan so far?

Ramadan this year

Time passes by so fast that when we look back, there are so much had happened and Alhamdulilah, Thank You Allah… we still here today, now. And I believe for everything that happened, for us to improve ourselves to become a better person, insyaAllah.

Last year Ramadan, we still as a long distance family. Hubsie and Umar in Penang. Khadijah in KB and I myself in Shah Alam.
Can you imagine my baby girl had to be in KB for a month long with my parents? I still cannot believe it actually. Bcos she’s barely 3 yo pun masa tu and she’s totally ok (in actual, I believe she misses home very much just tak reti nak express her feelings to her Tok and Embah). Sampai sekarang rasa bersalah tu ada :(

At the same time, MIL in the hospital. Her post op of thyroid removal took a bit longer to recover. Everyone in KT (outside of KT came back too!) was so busy took care of Mok. We even predicted that she will celebrated raya with tube hooked around her :(

Look at this year… Alhamdulilah, this year dapat puasa dengan family sendiri and since I have my parents staying together, we have a big bunch of people bila berbuka & sahur. Meriahh!

Semalam berbuka di Topaz since MIL, Umi Adik & Abi Azmi was there. And it was Umar first trial puasa. Tak sangka pulak awang tu boleh puasa penuh. Towards the end je la dia bising perut dia dah lapar. Sahur harini dia siap pesan, “mama… lepas ambil Umar, jangan la puasa lama sangat. Nanti perut Umar lapar”. I hope he manage to puasa penuh again today. Ameen. Khadijah managed to puasa half day yesterday. She came back and told me “Adik puasa”, when asked if she puasa. “Tapii… tadi teacher suap adik makan. 2 kali. Adik makan lah” Hehe. Funny la you adik. Harini try puasa lagi, k dik!

Ramadan kareem, everyone! :)

 

Hormonal

I’m overly sensitive lately.
I’m easily get irritated by something and will snapped in a split second, which then I’ll end up regretting it. Pfft.

It is so hard to understand what is going on in my system right now. I know I am not myself.
I mean, I’m not like this before. Yes, please believe me. I may be a bit mean last time, but not this meanest. I hate myself at this point.

I can cry at any random situation. I cry on the way home listen some crappy love song. Haha. Silly! But yes. That’s the new me.
I cry in the rest room in the office just bcos I remembered I’m mad at my little girl.

Oh, God. This hormone imbalance or what ever crap in the system right now is totally making me crazy.

Could it be bcos of the contraceptive pills that I’m consuming? It does effects on my migraine, tho. Sakit gila-gila sampai consume balik the meds that I stopped long back.

Or I’m just finding excuses to blame on something else except myself?
O Allah, help me!